Last week, a local group held an event in Downtown New Boston that had many guest speakers talking about various aspects of mental health. If you did not get a chance to get out to it, you missed a great event that touched on everything from financial stress to healthy eating, grief to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) among others. And, while they are all relevant topics, I think the one that really stood out to me the most was financial stresses.
As some of you may know, I have been a single mother for nearly the entirety of my son’s life. And when you’re bringing up a child in a single-income household, money is definitely tight. Do not get me wrong, we live comfortably. We have a solid roof over our heads that is very close to being completely paid for and fully mine, food in our refrigerator and cabinets and reliable transportation that gets us where we need to be. My bills get paid each month and sometimes we have extra money most months to enjoy fun things in life, a favorite being going to live music festivals and concerts occasionally throughout the year. But there have been times when I have gotten paid and after bills auto drafted from my account, we had about $150 that had to last us for a full two weeks before the next payday. We made it work, but there were a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, packaged ramen and macaroni and cheese dinners eaten during those two week stretches.
As any journalist will tell you, you do not get into this profession for the money. You do it because you love the work. The same can be said for a lot of worthwhile professions. Teaching is probably the first one that comes to mind. Teaching is probably the most underpaid, overworked and overworked profession in the US, but they have a calling that is truly remarkable. But I digress.
While we have had struggles on and off over the years, knowing what is coming has been on my mind a lot lately.
Later this year, my son will begin his senior year of high school and we will be picking the college that he will be attending after graduation. This scares me for many reasons, the biggest one being the financial aspect of it.
Over the last few years, several colleges and universities have made attending classes more affordable by providing tuition-free attendance for families making under certain thresholds. But that does not include housing costs.
Before we acquired our house, we lived in an apartment paying rent which was more than three times higher than our monthly mortgage payment has been for the last nine years. And I remember there being times when I had to scrounge up change just to make sure we had milk and bread. I do not want that for my son. I want him to be able to enjoy his college experience and not worry about finances.
In a perfect world, my son would be able to attend the college of his choice, live on campus and be able to have all his needs met without either of us worrying about finances. But the reality is that, even if he receives scholarships, he will also have to have a job to meet several of his needs and some wants. Throughout high school, I have really wanted him to focus on school, his extracurricular and just being a kid, so I have not required him to have a job.
If he does not receive scholarships that pay for him to live in a dorm, we will have to find ways to cover those costs if he chooses to attend a school outside of the area. Whether he chooses to live on campus in a dorm or off campus in an apartment, it will absolutely be expensive. I know that student loans are available, but I would rather he not incur that debt.
I know the struggle of working a full-time job while balancing a full-time academic schedule and how it can create burnout. The last thing I want for him is to burnout before he even has a chance to enjoy being young. But I also know that there will be things he wants to do that I will not be able to fund so he will definitely have to find a job to have a bit of financial independence. It is definitely a double-edged sword. I love my son and want the world for him, but I know the world is an expensive place.
While I understand that the situation has not presented itself just yet, a year goes by fast and I know it is coming sooner rather than later.
I say all this to get to this point … I know I am not the only person in the world (or even this area) plagued by these thoughts or even in a similar situation. I am really just musing to get my thoughts out there to let those struggling with a similar situation to know they are not alone. I know no one is immune to financial stress. And I definitely know first-hand that financial stress affects a person’s mental wellbeing.
We live in a world where more often than not people want to keep their struggles to themselves and present to the world only the best versions of themselves. This is not a healthy way to live. If we bottle up the negative and only try to present the positive, it festers inside until something breaks. It is important that we be more open with our struggles, be it financial or other.
Find someone to talk to. We may just find that the world is less scary when we know we are not alone.
